HomeBlogPathological jealousy in a partner: we understand the causes

Pathological jealousy in a partner: we understand the causes

Pathological jealousy in a partner: we understand the causes
Olena Shevchuk
Olena Shevchuk
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6 minutes

You are completely faithful to your partner, never gave reasons for jealousy and are always honest with him. But he is still jealous – to everyone with whom you communicate, to casual acquaintances. And you don’t know what to do with it.

In fact, pathological jealousy is very difficult for everyone. Partners experience difficult feelings, because one cannot trust, and the other has to constantly make excuses. In such situations, a private psychologist can help, with whom you will understand why jealousy occurs and how to overcome it. Let’s name the main causes of pathological jealousy.

Pathological jealousy in a partner

Feeling insecure

Often people who are constantly jealous of their partners live with a sense of their own insufficiency. They believe that they are not worthy of love, so no one can be completely faithful to them.

Most often, this feeling is laid down from childhood. So, perhaps the child competed with other children for the love of the mother, felt rivalry with the father, brothers or sisters, mother’s friends. Often, parents themselves instill such a feeling in a child, not paying enough attention to him or comparing him with someone. As a result, a person develops an obsessive fear of rejection.

<p>Robert Leahy “Jealousy. How to live with her and maintain a relationship”</p>

Robert Leahy “Jealousy. How to live with her and maintain a relationship”

Can jealousy be good for a relationship? We know many stories where one of the partners harasses the other with his jealousy. And we think about the need to get rid of it. But not everything is so simple, the world-famous psychotherapist Robert Leahy tells us. Jealousy indicates that relationships are important and valuable to us.

Leahy offers us a more subtle understanding of the phenomenon of jealousy. From this book you will learn the evolutionary origin of jealousy and why modern man needs it. We often feel jealous because we are afraid of losing the people who matter most to us. And jealousy can not only hurt, but also help your relationship when you learn effective skills to keep it in check.

Desire to stay close

Many people try to stay spiritually close to their partner for as long as possible. Genuine intimacy is dangerous in the following ways:

  • you become vulnerable;
  • all your weaknesses are revealed;
  • you experience pain in any conflict.

When a person has an attitude that no one can be trusted, he will try to protect himself. At the same time, in order to defend himself, he begins to control his partner too much. Thus, the resulting jealousy becomes just a way of protection.

Attempts to avoid intimacy

The reason for this is the same vulnerability. But it comes from the trauma of rejection. The partner is so afraid of being rejected that he becomes jealous in order to avoid this feeling. And here we need an individual psychologist, with whom a person can delve deeply into his feelings, understand the causes of the condition and find solutions.

Because of jealousy, a person sees his partner as imperfect, who is a danger to him. And it seems that this will be a great reason for parting. A person constantly thinks that he would rather break off relations first than be abandoned. Or he may say that his beloved is not the person who can be trusted.

It is important to understand that if your partner is jealous for no reason, it is less up to you. After all, pathological jealousy mainly comes from childhood, depends on the experience of a person. And at the heart of it all is the relationship with the parents.

How to get rid of pathological jealousy
When a partner understands that a person is jealous only because of his experience with his parents, it will be easier for him. He does not need to prove his devotion and loyalty. There will also be an understanding that only your partner can change what is happening. And he will need to realize his own problems by contacting a psychologist.

When we talk about pathological jealousy, it is important to understand the degree of pathology. If it is pronounced, this indicates a pathology. In some cases, it may indicate mental disorders. It can be schizophrenia, neurosis, alcohol abuse and other problems. The consequences can be severe, because a person goes to extremes.

Thus, if your partner is experiencing morbid jealousy, you need to understand the reasons and understand how to deal with it. Most often, it is a consultation with a psychologist that allows you to improve relationships, solve your childhood problems and learn to trust your partner.

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