The psychologist recommends training the benign type of dispute resolution. Of course, this is not easy to do, especially if you have life attitudes and examples of loved ones. But the online help of a psychologist will allow you to understand yourself and form the necessary skills to resolve the conflict in the right way.
① It is important to hear more than just yourself. You need to give the other person the opportunity to express their point of view. And in the conflict should follow a few rules.
② Speak calmly. Many studies show that a fight almost always ends the way it started. That is, if you immediately started screaming, then you may not be able to reach a common solution.
③ Describe only your feelings. In conflicts, we often blame others, point out their mistakes. Thus, we provoke an additional surge of aggression. The psychologist advises to talk about your feelings. For example, you can say, “I hate to solve all the problems myself” or “I was hurt by your words.”
④ State your wishes. But they should be as clear and understandable as possible. For example, you might say, “I need more of your support with household chores.”
⑤ Listen to the other person’s wishes. This is a must! Indeed, often we do not hear the interlocutor, but only blame him for everything that happens. After listening to him, you will understand how he feels, what emotions he experiences, what “nibbles” him.
⑥ Refuse criticism, humiliation and ignorance. These actions are a defensive reaction of a person who does not want to sort things out. As a result, they are destroyed. Even if you want to run away from a conflict situation, you should not do this. Listen to your partner and express your feelings as well.
⑦ Admit mistakes and don’t get loud. If you were wrong about something, ask for forgiveness, admit your mistake. Also, do not shout, it is better to explain your position in a calm tone.
During an argument, we can often experience aggression. This leads to negative consequences. The psychologist recommends using the method of psycho-emotional calming: count from 10 to 1, take a deep breath, hold your breath as much as possible and exhale slowly. This way you will bounce back.
Remember that it’s easy to make things worse with someone. Much harder to keep them. Therefore, in a conflict, try to control yourself and also listen to the other side.
