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Where does low self-esteem come from and how to fix it?

Where does low self-esteem come from and how to fix it?
Olena Shevchuk
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Olena Shevchuk
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6 minutes
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11
Published
10.03.23

Each person has a certain idea of himself. Someone loves his life, brings only his own interests to the fore and believes that he is the best. And someone seems that he does not deserve anything in this life. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people with low self-esteem. Private psychotherapist Olena Shevchuk tells where she comes from and whether the situation can be corrected.

Causes of low self-esteem

We form an idea of ourselves on our own, but always under the pressure of relatives and others. Adequate self-esteem for those whose ideas about themselves almost completely coincide with how others think of them. A person understands his strengths and weaknesses, works on himself in order to develop and become better.

Inflated self-esteem means that a person considers himself the best, he thinks that he has a lot of virtues. And no one can compare to him.

Heightened self-esteem

But low self-esteem will be when a person sees only shortcomings in himself. He believes that he does not deserve anything good in this life, and everything around him is much better.

Low self-esteem

We form our self-image at an early age. Then we are influenced by those closest to us – parents, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, grandparents. Those children who were listened to, loved and not humiliated, did not violate their personal space, and if they scolded, then only for the cause, grow up as people with adequate self-esteem.

Admired children grow up with inflated self-esteem. But those children who were criticized, compared with others, forced to earn parental love by some actions, grow up with low self-esteem. It will also be low if the child has suffered psychological trauma, seen the parents’ quarrels or survived their divorce, experienced physical and emotional punishment, was devalued in the family.

As you can see, there are many reasons for low self-esteem. Therefore, it cannot be said that only some people suffer from self-doubt. In doing so, they:

  • indecisive;
  • careful in their actions;
  • afraid to make decisions and take responsibility;
  • too demanding of themselves and other people;
  • vulnerable and touchy;
  • envious, with an inferiority complex;
  • depend on the opinions of others.

Some people try to compensate for low self-esteem by acting on the contrary. They often change partners, attract attention with bright clothes and make-up, behave too loudly in companies.

<p>The team of authors “Low self-esteem. How to learn to respect yourself?”</p>

The team of authors “Low self-esteem. How to learn to respect yourself?”

Self-respect, self-esteem is not only how we treat ourselves, but also how others perceive us. Those who do not respect themselves are often “unlucky”. From this bad luck, you can determine that it is time to start restoring self-esteem.

We are so busy with daily affairs that we have no time to think about needs. And in vain, because self-esteem and clear personal boundaries determine relations with the world. Much depends on the degree of self-esteem. What are the signs that it is not enough?

How to fix the situation?

Of course, playing in front of the public or the desire to attract attention will not help to improve self-esteem. On the contrary, a person can fall into a deep depression. Psychological help online will be the right solution for those who want to correct the situation and look at themselves adequately. Also, the therapist recommends following several points.

Try not to compare yourself with others, remember that everyone is unique.

Write your virtues on a piece of paper, read them daily.

Consider positive things around you – the sun, birds, cats, aromatic coffee.

Set yourself up for your own success, take a step and take on a new business.

Stop being afraid that you will fail. Remember that this is just your experience.

Smile more often, be open with people.

Try to surround yourself with those people who do not criticize you, but talk about your virtues. Their nice words will help you form a better assessment of yourself. Do not be afraid to listen to a lot of compliments from them and learn to take them for granted.

Low self-esteem can and should be dealt with. But you should know that this will require a lot of strength. And the result will depend only on your desire.

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